


you darn cool teens get out of my group chat!

by Stridizzle_JPG



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Friendship stuff instead of shippy stuff mostly, Multi, bc I can't write and don't want to, chatfic, sorry for never posting lmao, stage dorks needs more appreciation tbh!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:45:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stridizzle_JPG/pseuds/Stridizzle_JPG
Summary: jeremypresent : shut your fuck





	1. the squip squadron™

**Author's Note:**

> jeremy - jeremypresent  
> michael - p1  
> brooke - brooke / partyhat  
> chloe - bemyValentine  
> jenna - joinmydramaclub  
> christine - actuallyjuliet/jointhedramaclub  
> jake - jakeyd  
> rich - bitch
> 
> i hope this doesn't suck

jeremypresent added p1 , brooke , bemyValentine , joinmydramaclub , jointhedramaclub , jakeyd and bitch to a group

jeremypresent named the group "freinds"

bemyValentine : jerry hun you can do better than that

jeremypresent : you got any ideas??

bemyValentine named the group "Jeremy Heere is a furry"

jeremypresent : no???? not really???

p1 : #exposed

jeremypresent : i

jeremypresent : m i c h a e l

jeremypresent : blocked

p1 : you can block me but you can't block the truth

bitch : damn michael 

p1 : hhhn rich

bitch : what

p1 : bitch? 

bitch: bi + rich = bitch

p1 : close enough

p1 : hhh @joinmydramaclub who are you??

joinmydramaclub : jenna?? im jenna??

p1 : youre a theater geek????

joinmydramaclub : no its. it's a joke,,

joinmydramaclub : drama club like. Gossip club

p1 : ohh okay

p1 : wait 

p1 : @jointhedramaclub is christine, right?

jointhedramaclub : ,,,hi jenna

joinmydramaclub : ,,,hi christine

jointhedramaclub changed their name to actuallyjuliet 

p1 : better

brooke : hi guys !!!

p1 : hey brooke !!

bemyValentine : hi brooke!!!

bemyValentine : sweetie u need a name change tho

brooke changed their name to partyhat

p1 : lmao nice

bemyValentine : ?

jeremypresent : ?

bitch : ?

jakeyd : ?

p1 : inside joke

partyhat : ;)

p1 : ;)

joinmydramaclub : im. So confused

actuallyjuliet : youre not alone lol

bemyValentine : i cant believe ?? 

bemyValentine : brooke youre keeping a secret?? from your best friend ??

partyhat : its an Inside Joke chlo

bemyValentine : since when did you two hang out ????

p1 : uhhh 

p1 : october ig 

partyhat : we bonded @ the party 

bitch : hhh is it ok to like

bitch : Not Talk about that

partyhat : def !!

partyhat : sorry rich!!

bitch : it's cool 

jeremypresent : yall need to fuckin uhh change this group name

actuallyjuliet named the group "squip squad"

jakeyd : explain?

actuallyjuliet : we all got squipped and i guess the name sounded kinda funny?? it's cool to change it if you want!!

jakeyd : nah i like it

p1 : uhhh gotta blast

p1 left "squip squad"

jeremypresent added p1 to "squip squad"

p1 : i dont belong in the group guys lmao

p1 : i am Squipless

p1 : plus uhh most of yall don't even like me so :)))

actuallyjuliet : false !!!

partyhat : false !!!

bitch : false !!!

jeremypresent : false !!!

joinmydramaclub : false !!!

bemyValentine : false ig 

jakeyd : chloe?? dont be rude??

jakeyd : false !!!

partyhat : We Are All Love Michael Mell

p1 : im cryin in the club guys tysm :')

actuallyjuliet : even though you didn't get a squip you're still in our friend group !! 

p1 : im love christine ??

p1 : @jeremypresent i see why you love her ???

jeremypresent : uhhh who doesn't love christine??? shes a fuckin blessing

actuallyjuliet : you guys are so nice omg

partyhat : god christine u are like. the sweetest of all of us we love you obv 

actuallyjuliet : tysm brooke !!

bemyValentine : off the topic of loving christine canigula uhh christine can i talk to you for a sec??

actuallyjuliet : yeah sure !!

bemyValentine >>> actuallyjuliet 

bemyValentine : uhh so i know you talk with brooke a lot so

bemyValentine : can you help me like

bemyValentine : befriend brooke again??

actuallyjuliet : :?

actuallyjuliet: what do you mean?

bemyValentine : like

bemyValentine : you two seem like youre bffs 

bemyValentine : she doesnt do that with me anymore and

bemyValentine : I Realize My Errors and w/ever

bemyValentine : i just want her to like me like that again?? yknow what I mean??

actuallyjuliet : sort of?

actuallyjuliet : i see that you guys used to be bffs and i still think you two are !!

actuallyjuliet : if you mean you think she doesnt know youve changed i know she does !! 

actuallyjuliet : you guys should maybe talk it out you know?

actuallyjuliet : like

actuallyjuliet : tell her exactly that !!

bemyValentine : thanks

actuallyjuliet : np !

bemyValentine >>> "squip squad"

bemyValentine : im back

actuallyjuliet : me too !!

p1 : yall good??

bemyValentine : yeah we're good

jeremypresent : aNyways how are you guys??

p1 : uhhh not bad ig?? 

partyhat : v good!!

bemyValentine : could be better

jakeyd : uhh guys school is gonna start soon how tf are you guys "good"

bitch : im uhh Not Ready and Scared As Shit

bitch : school is Unfun and Hellish

p1 : rt 

partyhat : rt

bemyValentine : rt 

jeremypresent : rt

jakeyd : rt

joinmydramaclub : rt

actuallyjuliet : rt

bitch : i fuckin rest my case 

p1 : yikes im actually scared for school in not ready for anything ??

jeremypresent : yeah but ?? bro i got your back??? im scared too but we can be petrified together :)

p1 : <3 no homo

jeremypresent : <3 no homo 

p1 >>> partyhat

p1 : YESHOMOYESHOMO

partyhat : ;)

p1 >>> "squip squad"

p1 : well what classes do yall have I want to fuckin cheat on all my tests and homework

jeremypresent : hold up ill send a pic

jeremypresent sent hellschedule.png 

p1 : d u d e we have all our classes together !!!!

bemyValentine : eyes emoji

jeremypresent : what?

bemyValentine >>> p1

bemyValentine : i wont say anything to him 

p1 : thank you

bemyValentine >>> "squip squad"

bemyValentine : nothing 

actuallyjuliet : jeremy we have math + history together !!

jeremypresent : :0 nice!!

jeremypresent : anyone else??

jakeyd : we have english together 

jeremypresent : cool !

bemyValentine : guess who has all your classes??

jeremypresent : gdi 

bemyValentine : >:(

jeremypresent : im joking im joking 

bemyValentine : >:|

p1 : Jeremy Don't Be Rude

jeremypresent : shut your fuck 

partyhat : "shut your fuck" ?

jeremypresent : shut your fuck too !!

partyhat : >:|

joinmydramaclub : uh oh jerry you upset the Girls you better fuckin run

jeremypresent : are you like?? ghosting this chat??

joinmydramaclub : i can do what I want heere

p1 : better fuckin run heere

partyhat : better fuckin run heere

actuallyjuliet : better fuckin run heere

joinmydramaclub : did ?!?! Christine Canigula?!?! just swear?!?!

actuallyjuliet : >:)


	2. wait what???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> p1 : spill, who is it
> 
> bitch : I'd tell you why??
> 
> p1 : because?? I'm crushing on somebody too??
> 
> bitch : sweaty it's hella obvious it's jeremy
> 
> p1 : shut up you egg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gay and short, exactly like me

bitch : brooke

partyhat : what

bitch : whats with your @

partyhat : inside joke w me nd michael

bitch : yeah but wtf does it mean ???

partyhat : rich,,, you do know what an inside joke is

partyhat : you had to be there

bitch : tell me

partyhat : my lips are sealed

p1 : its not fuckin life changing or somethin dude

p1 : you don't need to know lmao

bitch : but

bitch : I want to know

p1 : dude I've been wondering 

p1 : how are you like

p1 : so open about your sexuality

bitch : I just am

bitch : people fear me a bit they wont give me shit about it

bitch : plus all of you guys are?? so supportive and don't care 

actuallyjuliet >>> p1

actuallyjuliet : you know, michael,

actuallyjuliet : if youre suggesting youre scared to come out we won't give you a hard time about it !!

actuallyjuliet : if its any help, I'm asexual and bi, most everyone in the chat knows and everyone is super supportive!!

p1 : ty <3

actuallyjuliet : ^^

actuallyjuliet >>> "squip squad"

actuallyjuliet : if everyone is comfortable with it, why dont we all say our sexualities and get it out of the way?

bitch : hi I'm bi

actuallyjuliet : thank you, rich

actuallyjuliet : that shocked a whopping total of no people

joinmydramaclub : I'm ace + lesbian !!

joinmydramaclub : I Love Girls ™

actuallyjuliet : Im asexual / bi !

joinmydramaclub : :D

actuallyjuliet : :D

bemyValentine : pan

jakeyd : pan

partyhat : im,,, idk im either bi or a full on lesbian I'm On The Fence abt guys

jeremypresent : im bi

p1 : wait whta

p1 >>> jeremypresent

p1 : bro

p1 : youre,,, youre bi???

jeremypresent : yeah

jeremypresent : sorry i,,, didn't tell you yet i forgot lmao

p1 : nah dude it's cool!!

p1 >>> partyhat

p1 : BROO K E

partyhat : !!!

p1 : IM CRYING TEARS ??? OF JOY???

p1 >>> "squip squad'

p1 : im Gay

p1 : I like dick

jeremypresent : really subtle there michael

p1 : says the guy who out of nowhere suddenly likes dick too?? 

jeremypresent : not?? suddenly??

p1 : I never got the memo????

jeremypresent : sorry dude!!

p1 : jkjk it's fine <3 no homo

jeremypresent : <3 no homo

bemyValentine : eyes emoji

joinmydramaclub : eyes emoji

partyhat : eyes emoji

p1 : no!!!!!!!!

jeremypresent : no!!!!!!!

p1 >>> partyhat

p1 : I'm crying tears of sadness :'(((((

partyhat : rip

p1 >>> "squip squad"

p1 : so some of yall gotta have crushes then??

p1 : eyes emoji

p1 : who are you sneaky fucks

bitch : :')

partyhat : :')

p1 : ah hA

p1 added partyhat and bitch to a group

p1 named the group "pining"

p1 : spill, who is it

bitch : Id tell you why??

p1 : because?? im crushing on somebody too??

bitch : sweaty it's hella obvious it's jeremy

p1 : shut up you egg

bitch : and if you tell them??

p1 : I wont

bitch : Jake

partyhat: :0!!!!

p1 : you too brooke, spill the beans

partyhat : uggghhhhhhhhh

partyhat : idk man

partyhat : I cant really?? tell ig...

partyhat : I'll let you know when I'm in the know too lmao

partyhat >>> "squip squad"

partyhat : hhh anyways im gonna sleep bc it's almost one a.m and I'm tired 

partyhat : gn!!!

bemyValentine : gn !!!!

actuallyjuliet : gn!

p1 >>> jeremypresent

p1 : you go to sleep too nerd

jeremypresent : shut it you gay

p1 : but seriously

p1 : sleep u weiner

jeremypresent : f i n e

jeremypresent : good night

p1 : night

jeremypresent : <3 no homo

p1 : <3

p1 : no homo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes there mell,,,  
>  I'm not going to edit it lmao hope this is okay


	3. hear the rainbow, see the rainbow, taste the rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitch : and youre sure you aren't some supervillian with mad skills in the art of being super fuckin cool 
> 
> partyhat : im flattered but, alas, 
> 
> partyhat : nah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so!! explanation :  
> synesthesia is a thing where your brain is wired in a weird way where two orso of your senses are connected. In my case, when I listen to music I can "see" a very strong color that goes with it, and when imagining a calender in my mind ever month and day of the week has a play around my mind and a color. Theres certain words to define those specific types but I forgot. The picture jenna sends is the definition part of the synesthesia wiki  
> Me, projecting myself into brooke lohst? Don't Be Silly!!!!1!!!!1!  
> Ifyou're still confused/want to know more about synesthesia uhh comment or Google it!! It's very cool

actuallyjuliet : guys!!

actuallyjuliet : have any of you listened to falsettos??

actuallyjuliet : i mean I know you guys aren't as much into theater + musicals as I am but you guys should it's v good!!

partyhat : actually I have!! 

actuallyjuliet : :0 !!!

partyhat : yea it's reeeeaaally good

partyhat : all the songs are so bright nd colorful!! 

actuallyjuliet : :?

jakeyd : :?

p1 : :?

partyhat : what

actuallyjuliet : colorful?

partyhat : yea

partyhat : colorful

partyhat : like, the thrill of first love is a soft orange 

partyhat : im breaking down is a vibrant spiky red + yellow 

partyhat : the chess game is blue nd pale green 

joinmydramaclub : oh I get what ur sayin!!

p1 : you do?

actuallyjuliet : you do?

jeremypresent : you do?

joinmydramaclub : yea!!

joinmydramaclub : one sec 

joinmydramaclub sent synesthesia.png 

joinmydramaclub : basically synesthesia is like,

joinmydramaclub : in this situation, 

joinmydramaclub : brooke listens to music and can see/ see in her mind some colors

partyhat : yea!! when I listen to music I hear the colors basically 

p1 : um?? that's hella rad??

jeremypresent : michael nobody says hella rad

p1 : shut up you furry

jeremypresent : :'((((

bitch : uhh blease explain one more time im stupid??

partyhat : i can hear the rainbow

bitch : nice

partyhat : other skills related to that include

partyhat : i can point to june and tuesday

bitch : and youre sure you aren't some supervillian with mad skills in the art of being super fuckin cool 

partyhat : im flattered but, alas, 

partyhat : nah

bitch : :(

jakeyd : that's super cool

partyhat : ty!!

p1 : to answer your previous question im thinkin only nerd boy and brooke have listened to falsettos

jeremypresent : im nerd boy aren't I

p1 : no youre brooke 

p1 : y e s you're nerd boy 

jeremypresent : :'(

p1 : im kidding <3 no homo

jeremypresent : <3 no homo

jakeyd : eyes emoji 

bitch : eyes emoji 

partyhat : eyes emoji 

bemyValentine : eyes emoji 

joinmydramaclub : eyes emoji 

jeremypresent : shut up??

actuallyjuliet : eyes emoji 

p1 : christine too???

bemyValentine : hun,,,

bemyValentine : in chrissys defence u 2 did just use <3

jeremypresent : ***no homo***

p1 : /no homo/

bemyValentine >>> p1

bemyValentine : yikes man. just. yikes

bemyValentine >>> "squip squad"

bemyValentine : fine, if you say so 

bemyValentine : ;)

jeremypresent : nO!!!!!

bemyValentine : joking

jeremypresent : ill block you!! I Won't Hesitate Binch !!

bemyValentine >>> jeremypresent 

bemyValentine : you can block me but you can't block the t r u t h

bemyValentine >>> "squip squad"

bemyValentine : rude??

jeremypresent : joking

jakeyd : uhh eyes emoji @ jeremy 

jakeyd : you love both chrissy + him??

jakeyd : Whats The Truth??

jeremypresent : no!! homo!!

jakeyd : just messin dude its chill 

jeremypresent : >:|

bitch : or is he??

jeremypresent has left the group 

bitch added jeremypresent to "squip squad"

jeremypresent has left the group 

p1 : yall killed him

bitch : says no homo jr over here

bitch : got somethin to say to us michael???

p1 : no!! fuckin!! homo!! guys!! 

p1 : chill!! tf!! out!!

bitch : jkjk sorry dude

p1 added jeremypresent to "squip squad"

jeremypresent : >://

p1 : sorry but our friends are Meanies jer

jeremypresent : I'm gonna report yall for bullying!!!!1!!!1

joinmydramaclub : hnnn guys this is off topic but

joinmydramaclub : ive got some News

p1 : lay it on us

joinmydramaclub : i uhhh came out to my mom

joinmydramaclub : + i lied earlier

joinmydramaclub : or. more like didnt mention im trans??

joinmydramaclub : i didnt know if yall would care and i thought w school coming it wasnt the best idea to ruin my rep before anything happens

jeremypresent >>> joinmydramaclub 

jeremypresent : high five 

joinmydramaclub : high five?

jeremypresent : me too

joinmydramaclub : you too? :00

jeremypresent : yeah

jeremypresent >>> joinmydramaclub 

jeremypresent : jenna!! congrats on coming out!! 

jeremypresent : and were not assholes i promise

jeremypresent : how'd your mom take it??

joinmydramaclub : uhh p well I guess

joinmydramaclub : she's asking tons of awkward questions but she's not a homophobe / transphobe

actuallyjuliet : congrats!! that's great!!! 

jakeyd : ^^

partyhat : ^^

bitch : ^^

bemyValentine : ^^

p1 : ^^

partyhat : and!! we wouldnt tell the school jen we respect ur privacy n junk!!

bemyValentine : youre still p cool in our book girl

joinmydramaclub : :')

jeremypresent >>> joinmydramaclub 

jeremypresent : blease dont tell anyone,,

jeremypresent : especially not brooke + christine 

joinmydramaclub : i swear I wont 

jeremypresent : thank you

jeremypresent >>> "squip squad"

jeremypresent : we should, like, make a club 

jeremypresent : or 

jeremypresent : queer kids movie night

jeremypresent : we talk about lgbt+ stuff and watch one movie every month on a specific day

p1 : uhhh the last friday of every month

actuallyjuliet : why?

p1 : i like fridays and the end of the month idk man

joinmydramaclub : where?

jakeyd : uhhh what about @ my place

bitch : are you okay with that? 

jakeyd : definitely 

partyhat : it's official!! queer kids movie night, every last friday @ jakes 

bemyValentine : nice

joinmydramaclub >>> jeremypresent 

joinmydramaclub : wait 

jeremypresent : why don't u want them to know?

jeremypresent : idk 

jeremypresent : i know that neither of them are transphobes that's not the reason just

jeremypresent : they're the first ppl who would talk to me about it

jeremypresent : what if Christine broke up w me?? what if brooke didnt want to be my friend anymore??

joinmydramaclub : uhh Unlikely 

joinmydramaclub : in fact Impossible 

joinmydramaclub : they both?? would never do that?? only bc ur trans??

joinmydramaclub : i call kicking BOTH their asses if they do dw

jeremypresent : lmao thanks

jeremypresent >>> "squip squad"

jeremypresent : what movie are we gonna watch

actuallyjuliet : jer. jer. its,,,september 2 its p far away we don't need to decide rn???

p1 : yeah jeremiah its september two

actuallyjuliet : s h u t u p

bemyValentine : j e r e m i a h????

p1 : yeah that's his first name

bemyValentine : oh my god i. Never knew

p1 : calm down its like?, not that important 

bemyValentine : " calm down " says the person who texted me @ 2 am when he was worried bc jeremiah heere had the fuckin f l u

jeremypresent >>> p1 

jeremypresent : explain???

p1 : you never get sick?? i was worried??

jeremypresent : its. The flu michael

p1 : fuck u you furry

jeremypresent : 1) n o, 2) I can't believe you just used u and you right next to each other lmao

p1 : stfu?? 

jeremypresent : :'(

jeremypresent : does Michael Mell is rude??

p1 : that's old but yeah I'm An Asshole :)

jeremypresent : uhh false

p1 : <3 no homo

jeremypresent : <3 no homo

jeremypresent >>> "squip squad"

jeremypresent : that's sweet lmao

p1 : im fuckin being cyberbullied >:(((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh jenna coming out is dedicated to me coming out to my mom as a lesbian yesterday!!my mom took it the same way jennas mom took it. Me, projecting myself onto jenna rolan? D o n t b e s i l l y!!!!!!1!!  
> Uhh some actual notes, you can pry transgirl jenna rolan from my cold dead hands  
> Jeremy and Christine are dating but they'll probably end up breaking up? Idk guys i love me some boyf riends but christine/Jeremy is a hella good ship ill probs keepit for a little bit


	4. commence evil villian laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> p1 : fuck!!
> 
> bitch : big mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is super short!!!!! i had no ideas please help lmao

p1 >>> "pining"

p1 : hey yall uhhhh fuckin help

p1 : im gay and im dead

partyhat : Michael Mell? gay and dead??? never fuckin wouldve thought

p1 : stfu

partyhat : gimme the good deets what happened???

p1 : jeremy is cute and asleep and wearing my hoodie

p1 : the gods have blessed me with this image

partyhat : holy s h i t

bitch : i thought you never took it off 

bitch : weren't you like. born with it on your body 

p1 : god i wish?? 

p1 : but yeah uhh help

partyhat : why do you need help

p1 : jeremy!!! is dating!! the saint known as christine canigula!!! 

p1 : how !! do i get over!!! this crush!!!

partyhat : lol don't ask me idk

bitch : you?? probably can't im thinking 

p1 : dAMMIT 

partyhat : youll n e v e r leave this gc

p1 : fuck!!

bitch : big mood

p1 : jEremy woke up!! fuck 

partyhat : this is the quality program i paid for

bitch : rt 

p1 : gUYS im screaming???? he's super cute his hair is all messed up

partyhat : uhhh as much as we love your daily "jeremy is cute" antics but dial it down you gay

p1 : >:((

p1 >>> joinmydramaclub 

p1 : pal. friend. amigo.

joinmydramaclub : yes?

p1 : im gonna tell you something because everyone else i was talking to about this got annoyed

p1 : do you swear !! not to say any of this to anyone !! 

joinmydramaclub : my lips r sealed

p1 : jeremy is cute and sleepy and wearing my hoodie whAT Do I do?????

joinmydramaclub : >:O knew it

p1 : how do i stop this crush? ??

joinmydramaclub : why?

p1 : jeremy is dating christine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p1 : i need!! this!! to stop!!!

joinmydramaclub : idk man im not good at this shit

p1 : dammit 

joinmydramaclub : you could. Tell him??

p1 : or, better thought, 

p1 : no

joinmydramaclub : or,,

joinmydramaclub : yes,,,

p1 : uhh?? nah?? hell definitely think I'm weird

joinmydramaclub : but he's like. Your best friend in the history of the universe

joinmydramaclub : that wont change just because of a crush???

p1 : but! hes! dating! someone!! its!! weird!!!

joinmydramaclub : look dude idk I'm bad at advice 

p1 : thanks anyway though

joinmydramaclub : no prob bob

p1 : my names lapis

p1 >>> "squip squad"

p1 : whAt's up nerds how's it hangin

jakeyd : bad. very very bad

jakeyd : this trigonometry homework fuckin sucks a s s

bitch : i can help you if you want?? i found all the answers online

jakeyd : you are a lifesaver rich, I'm buying you ice cream tmr

bitch : nICE

p1 : eyes emoji

jakeyd : ?

p1 : nothing

jakeyd : uhhh okay??

p1 : what about everyone else how are yall

actuallyjuliet : tbh pretty tired

bemyValentine : rt

partyhat : rt

bitch : rt

joinmydramaclub : rt

jeremypresent : rt

actuallyjuliet : glad we all agree lol

jeremypresent : tbh?? petition to ban trig homework it overall sucks

actuallyjuliet : petition signed, i think i speak for everyone here

p1 : *heere

jeremypresent : shut your fuck

p1 : im wounded, youve hurt me

jeremypresent : commence evil villian laughter

actuallyjuliet : wow i cant believe jeremy is a murderer >:////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont want to make promises but i may or may not post another chapter this week so,,,,,, yeah idk  
> i hope this doesnt suck!!! again sorry its so short i didnt have any good ideas
> 
> did yall like my su reference???
> 
> and i was gonna have everyone have their own typing style but now they all just type like me whOops


	5. oh worm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REALIZED A MISTAKE in a chapter before I can't fix it now I'm at an optometrist appt rn and soon my eyes are gonna be dilated so I'll fix it later!!! Sorry!!!  
> Also funny story Im rereading a fic I love and I realized I rooted the name for Christine's user in the back of my head and kinda stole it ,,,,,  
> I mean you can't trademark it or whatever but I just. Realized that now

bitch : sup heteros

partyhat : what did you just call me

actuallyjuliet : what did you just call me

p1 : what did you just call me

jeremypresent : what did you just call me

jakeyd : what did you just call me

bemyValentine : what did you just call me

joinmydramaclub : what did you just call me

bitch : wow guys I've never gotten such a response to anything I've ever said in my life

jakeyd : heterosexuality is a very serious topic, richard

joinmydramaclub : if we joke about being straight the real heteros might hear us

bitch : oh dear

partyhat : hey guys what are ur opinions on the trig teacher ms owens???

jakeyd : ew 

p1 : rt 

jeremypresent : rt 

bemyValentine : rt

joinmydramaclub : dont have her :)))

bemyValentine : lucky????

joinmydramaclub : nah i hate ms wade shes an asshole lmao

partyhat : ms owens gave us a fuckin 50 question test and gave us half an hour to do it!!!!

partyhat : she didnt!! even let us use calculators!!!

joinmydramaclub : yikes nvm she sucks

p1 : yeah

jeremypresent : tbh im gonna fail trig i cant do basic multiplication without a calculator how am i supposed to do this shit???

bemyValentine : big mood

bemyValentine : tbh?? eternal mood

bemyValentine : im probably failing too lmao

partyhat : yknow if yall are actually worried abt ur grades n shit my friend alexa does tutoring on weekends!!

bemyValentine : thanks brooke !! give me her number and ill probs give her a call

partyhat : no problem!! <3

bemyValentine : <3

p1 : eyes emoji (?)

partyhat >>> p1

partyhat : oof i wish!!!

partyhat >>> "squip squad"

partyhat : >:|

joinmydramaclub : Youre On Thin Ice Boy!!!

p1 : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

bemyValentine : >:|

actuallyjuliet : death awaits you, michael 

p1 : uhhh idk about you chrissy but I don't think The Girls are capable of murdering a friend

bemyValentine : you think???? 

p1 : hmm. Thats.

p1 : a bit unsettling.

partyhat : yeah michael 

partyhat : ur gay pining ass is gonna get kicked bitch!!!!!

p1 >>> partyhat

p1 : what? ?? the fuck???????

partyhat : hnnn sorry sorry sorry!! 

p1 : >:|

p1 >>> "squip squad"

p1 : lol okay brooke i take back my assumption yall are capable of murdering andybody

jakeyd : is?? nobody gonna recognize the pining part??

bemyValentine : yeah that sounds Suspicious !!!!

p1 : no suspicion here!! haha

p1 : i am but a normal boy,! not suspicious,!!!

actuallyjuliet : hun that's really suspicious :///

p1 : no!! do you not read woman!! 

p1 : no suspicion! !!!

actuallyjuliet : :///////// kinda suspicious to me??? but w/ever

p1 : hhahaa no suspicion! 

jeremypresent : yeah michael what the fuck you are just. Defining suspicion rn spill those beans who you crushin on

p1 has left the group

jeremypresent added p1 to "squip squad"

jeremypresent : beans!!!!!!!

jeremypresent : spill em!!!

p1 : jeREMY can you not read,,!!! no suspicion i am going to leave now bye!!!!

p1 has left the group

bemyValentine added p1 to "squip squad"

p1 has left the group

jakeyd : you killed him jeremiah 

jeremypresent : i!! want!! the beans!! to spill!!

bemyValentine : jesus christ I can't fuckin take it!! youre too fuckin oblivious g o d!!!

jeremypresent : :?

bemyValentine : michael likes you dummy!!! it's so fuckin obvious! !!

jeremypresent : wow rude 

bemyValentine : im sorry

jeremypresent : its fine 

jeremypresent >>> p1

jeremypresent : dude

jeremypresent : dude 

p1 : y,,,es 

jeremypresent : chloe kinda,,,,,spilled the beans,,,

p1 : hnnnn w,,hat bea,,ns 

jeremypresent : uhh 

jeremypresent >>> "squip squad"

jeremypresent added p1 to "squip squad"

jeremypresent : dont!! leave the chat 

jeremypresent : so the beans have been Spilled

jeremypresent >>> p1

jeremypresent : so

jeremypresent : ye a h

p1 : hnnnNnnnnnnsorrysorrysorry

jeremypresent : you don't have to apologize dude

p1 : buddy,,,pal,,, 

p1 : youredating christine??,

p1 : kinda weird buddy pal chum

p1 : kaibigan

p1 : amigo

jeremypresent : kaibigan ?

p1 : kaibigan !!

jeremypresent : what,,does that mean,

p1 : F R I E ND!!!

jeremypresent : yeah that makes sense okay

jeremypresent : should have guessed

p1 : okay yeah hhhaha 

p1 : mahal kita talaga

jeremypresent : ??

p1 : hindi na bale !!

jeremypresent : michael i am an uncultured white boy I don't have any idea what that means

p1 : okay good! !

jeremypresent : uhh brb

p1 : ??????

jeremypresent : mahal din kita 

p1 : wHh a t

jeremypresent : did I not spell it right? 

p1 : mhhh no you spelled it f ine 

jeremypresent : okay good

jeremypresent : im still an uncultured white boy!!! tell me if I spell something wrong but 

jeremypresent : mahal na mahal kita !!

p1 : hNNN BRB GOnna cry now! !!!

jeremypresent : wait no don't do that!!

p1 : g ood tears!!! !!!!!!!!!

jeremypresent : okay thats good lmao

p1 : uhhh question,?

jeremypresent : yeah?

p1 : christine¿?

jeremypresent : oh yeah 

jeremypresent : i was talking w here and?? i Have A Solution if you ??wouldnt mind

p1 : oh worm?

~ ~ ~

partyhat >>> "squip squad"

partyhat : but anyways, katie joined the yearbook committee last year but decided against it this year, even tho her cover design was way cooler than mine or anyone else's 

partyhat : so when december rolls around well be short of a cover artist

partyhat : should I step up?? bc quinn said she'd be down to take over main photography if I wanted cover art

partyhat : but id feel bad for Quinn nd giving her double the work with revision + photos???

jakeyd : sorry whats happening what's the question

partyhat : should I do the yearbook cover art this year

joinmydramaclub : tbh yes ur art is the bomb

partyhat : :D

bemyValentine : i could take over photography if you want? 

partyhat : sure! !! thatd be super cool!!!

jeremypresent changed the group name to "surprise??"

joinmydramaclub : oh??

jeremypresent changed the group name to "surprise?? its a poly"

joinmydramaclub : nOW THIS IS NEWS!!

bemyValentine : clarification blease?? im dumb ://

actuallyjuliet : im dating jeremy and michael is dating jeremy but m + i aren't saying each other

actuallyjuliet : and no ur not dumb chloe 

bemyValentine : how sweet :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DSCLAIMER I AM AN UNCULTURED WHITE GIRL so if i did something super wrong with the Tagalog im!!! Very sorry!!!!please correct me!!!! I didn't use Google translate I used a tagalog-English website so these are the translations I found there:
> 
> kaibigan - friend  
> mahal kita talaga - I really love you  
> hindi na bale - nevermind  
> mahal din kita - I love you too  
> mahal na mahal kita - I love you very much
> 
> I bet none of yall expected meremine!!!!!!


	6. fully functioning hexagon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bemyValentine : ah, yes,
> 
> bemyValentine : life!!!!
> 
> bemyValentine : that filthy son of a bitch

bemyValentine >>> "surprise?? its a poly"

bemyValentine : hey guys

bemyValentine : guys

bemyValentine : g u y s

p1 : christ what do you want

p1 : it’s one in the morning!!!!!

bemyValentine : don't deny it fucker u were already up doing hw

bemyValentine : or watching porn

bemyValentine : i'm thinkin the former tho

p1 : you caught me

bemyValentine : wait u are watching porn

p1 : no doofus i'm doing homework

bemyValentine : okay

p1 : and why are you awake????

bemyValentine : when am i not, mell? 

p1 : fair point fair point

p1 : u do know. Sleep is like,,,

p1 : part of sustaining life n all that jazz

bemyValentine : ah, yes,

bemyValentine : life!!!!

bemyValentine : that filthy son of a bitch

bemyValentine : anyways sleep is for squares and i will inform you i am a fully functioning hexagon

p1 : woah there sleep deprived chloe

p1 : did you??? Just tell??? a joke???

bemyValentine : you gonna arrest me

p1 : no but i'm afraid i must ticket you, ma’am

p1 : humor is awfully dangerous in these parts 

bemyValentine : in the span of .7 seconds you turned from a normal, gay teenage boy into a grown adult obviously hetero cowboy

p1 : i have my talents.

jakeyd : hey no off fence but what thr fuck??

p1 : did perfect boy over here make a typo????

jakeyd : hey headphones homo shut your yaps irs one a.m

p1 : wait the irs is calling you at one in the morning?? damn son you're in debt

jakeyd : siri how do i make michael mell shut the fuck up

jakeyd : fuCk 

bemyValentine : ?

jakeyd : i. Actually asked my phone that

jakeyd : its fucking callinf Arby’s,,,

jakeyd : i am so banned

bemyValentine : michael you need to legally change your name to Arby’s now

p1 : hm maybe no

bemyValentine : hm maybe yes

p1 : @ jake why are you awake

jakeyd : well mr headphones homo 

jakeyd : take a guess

bemyValentine : dont tell me ur watching porn

jakeyd : hey why the fuck is that your first idea

bemyValentine : i'm not hearing a no

jakeyd : no, chloe patricia valentine, i am not watching porn

p1 : wait your middle name is patricia

bemyValentine : i bet ur middle name is like,,, joe or something

bemyValentine : or like,, justin timberlake

bemyValentine : hello michael justin timberlake mell

p1 : you fool

p1 : my middle name is obviously I Love My Boyfriend

bemyValentine : gay

p1 : i k n o w

bemyValentine : what is your middle name tho

p1 : how do i know you arent a witch tryna curse me or sell my soul to satan again hmm??

bemyValentine : whopps youve caught me

p1 : whopps

bemyValentine : shut up heather

p1 : holy shit does chloe valentine is a theater geek

bemyValentine : dont even lie to me justin timberlake i know you love andrew rannells more than yourself

p1 : i love a lot of things more than myself

jakeyd : woah there mate 

jakeyd : i'm gonna have to stop you before you suddenly run straight into the volcano of self deprecation

p1 : hey everybody jake dillinger is the second mom friend of this chat pass it on

jakeyd : it s my responsibility

joinmydramaclub : hey michael justin timberlake mell, chloe patricia valentine and jake pretty boy dillinger?

joinmydramaclub : go the fuck to sleep

jakeyd : i thought you were a lesbian

joinmydramaclub : i am

joinmydramaclub : that doesn't mean I can't recognize the fact that ur p damn fine 

jakeyd : wow I'm touched

joinmydramaclub : anyways go the fuck to sleep 

p1 : dont tell me what to do

joinmydramaclub : this is homophobia 

p1 : im gay

joinmydramaclub : or are you

p1 : what the fuck is this conversation 

jakeyd : guys g uess whats coming up

bemyValentine : pumpkin month

p1 : hell yeah

joinmydramaclub : its also halloween month

p1 : considerably less hell yeah

jakeyd : nevermind it's now declared pumpkin month

p1 : good idea

jeremypresent : um what the fuck

jeremypresent : i woke up to my phone blowing up at 1:30 am??

p1 : turn off your ringer and go back to sleep 

jeremypresent : mkay you too

jeremypresent : i won't have you staying up all night listening to the tetris background music four octaves higher than normal

jeremypresent : again

bemyValentine : im sorry what did you do headphones homo? ??

p1 : uhhh that sentence was taken out of context

jakeyd : what kind of fuckin context coyld you possibly take that frm??

p1 : mom #2 needs rest let's let her sleep

jakeyd : kids to go bed or no pancakes tom orrow morning !!!

jeremypresent : unfair!!!

bemyValentine : let's rebel

jakeyd : no rebelling after 8 pm!!

bemyValentine : >:|

jeremypresent : im done goodnight you weirdos

p1 : goodnight nerd 

joinmydramaclub : gay

jakeyd : gay

bemyValentine : gay

partyhat : why r we sayin gay

bemyValentine : read up hun

partyhat : gay

p1 : we know

jeremypresent : we know 

jeremypresent : see ya

bemyValentine : michael r u done with the science paper

p1 : what science paper

bemyValentine : you know?? the one about,,,

bemyValentine : god i don't even know anymore I've been rambling about nothing for the past page and a half

p1 : then s l e e p you hexagon

bemyValentine : it's due tmr tho??

p1 : we have history though just do it then

p1 : you know ms berenger doesn't teach us anything all period it won't matter of you don't pay attention

bemyValentine : ur right ur right 

bemyValentine : alright I'm gonna sleep bye

p1 : it's just you and me now brooke

partyhat : nah sorry I'm tired :(

p1 : it's cool 

partyhat : u!!

p1 : me??

partyhat : sleep!!

p1 : no??

partyhat : why 

p1 >>> partyhat 

p1 : nightmares

p1 >>> "surprise?? its a poly"

p1 : im not tired

partyhat : ugh fine 

partyhat : just

partyhat : try

partyhat : gn 

p1 : okay 

p1 : gn 

p1 >>> jeremypresent 

p1 : jer 

p1 : actually nevermind

p1 : gn

☆

joinmydramaclub >>> partyhat

 

joinmydramaclub : aight michaels lying what's up

partyhat : sorry can't talk I'm asleep

joinmydramaclub : gdi 

joinmydramaclub >>> actuallyjuliet 

joinmydramaclub : hey chrissy

actuallyjuliet : hm?

joinmydramaclub : what's up w/ Mike

actuallyjuliet : that sounds like the name of a 60 year old car salesman

joinmydramaclub : yeah so what's up

actuallyjuliet : ask him? ? sorry hun I'm asleep

joinmydramaclub : ugh

joinmydramaclub >>> p1

joinmydramaclub : that's a lie what's up pal

joinmydramaclub : michael 

joinmydramaclub : mike

joinmydramaclub : michale

joinmydramaclub : mciahle

joinmydramaclub : mcdonalds

joinmydramaclub : mickey mouse

joinmydramaclub : ugh w/ever

joinmydramaclub : u better not be readin this n ignoring me michelle obama 

joinmydramaclub : or ur in trouble buddy

joinmydramaclub : pal 

joinmydramaclub : chum

joinmydramaclub : friend

joinmydramaclub : copain

joinmydramaclub : amigo

joinmydramaclub : i can't think of any more so

p1 : kaibigan

joinmydramaclub : ah ha!!!

p1 : sorry I'm asleep

joinmydramaclub : >:(

joinmydramaclub : stop this nonsense

joinmydramaclub : michael

joinmydramaclub : Mike

joinmydramaclub : mickey mouse

joinmydramaclub : michelle obama

joinmydramaclub : moose

joinmydramaclub : mice 

joinmydramaclub : i can't think of m words s

joinmydramaclub : ugh

joinmydramaclub : see u sucker! !!

joinmydramaclub : haha joke

joinmydramaclub : wow that was immature

joinmydramaclub : alright bye

p1 : montana

p1 : monday 

p1 : mother

p1 : microwave

p1 : minimize

p1 : that's what I've got

p1 : gn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that these are so,,, Michael centric ig?? And somehow this turned into what ever the fuck happened I don't even know but I swear there is a plot lmao  
> Anyway I fixed that thing back in like. Chapter 3 or 4 and made it make sense   
> Uhhh today in English class I roasted a homophobic asshole in front of a bunch for f ppl and my teacher so that was fun  
> I hope y'all are having a good day!


	7. **nerd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joinmydramaclub : im a girl of many talents
> 
> joinmydramaclub : one of which includes procrastination until the last moment physically possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im!! so sorry for not posting in a while i forgot to post this and had an entire thing to work out with my math teacher and i. dont have any ideas  
> uhh in advance im sorry for this chapter its,, not the greatest but i hope yall like it!!  
> idk if it counts but tw for someone calling jeremy his deadname and misgendering him !! if you don't want to read this chapter its fine nothing really happens! everyone talks about heathers and tlt and doctor who then rich is exposed™ for being a huge nerd that is all

bitch >>> "surprise?? its a poly"

bitch : yall

bitch : at this point i won't even ask what that was about

bitch : you guys are weird???

jakeyd : yeah but you love us

bitch : yeah thats true

actuallyjuliet : who here wants to bet chloe and michael never actually went to sleep

bitch : literally everyone 

jakeyd : now that that's out of the way

jakeyd : do any of yall watch doctor who

bitch : oh my god is jake dillinger a scifi nerd

jakeyd : suck it doctor who is my shit 

bitch >>> "pining"

bitch : hahhahHhHnNnNN

patyhat : what

bitch sent screenshot.png 

partyhat : holy fuck 

bitch >>> "surprise?? its a poly"

bitch : if you insist

jakeyd : hnghv

jakeyd : anyways

jakeyd : do either of you

actuallyjuliet: I've watched a few episodes?? i don't really know the plot besides old british space man roams galaxy in a huge box with a friend that changes constantly 

bitch : nah but it sounds weird and kinda cool

jakeyd : its really good

partyhat : bonjour bitches 

jakeyd : hõla

actuallyjuliet : gm!

bitch : yo

partyhat : oh yes doctor who is great

jakeyd : nice

jeremypresent : wakey wakey e ggs and ANXIETY ATTAC K

jeremypresent : heck wrong chat

partyhat : u ok?

jeremypresent : yea just dandy

partyhat : no but srsly

jeremypresent : uhh kinda don't wanna talk about it¿? sry

partyhat : its ok

jakeyd : this chat took a turn 

actuallyjuliet : let's talk about cats!!!! I love em!!

partyhat : me too!!! 10/10 would pet a cat again. Very soft.

jeremypresent >>> p1

jeremypresent : hey 

p1 : howdy 

jeremypresent : so,,,,

jeremypresent : my mom kinda emailed me ,,

p1 : wait 

p1 : wait 

p1 : youre serious?

jeremypresent : yeah

p1 : wow oh my god

p1 : what did she say?? how the fuck does she know your email??

jeremypresent : uhhh she emailed my old email i was only checking it to clear the inbox then

jeremypresent : boom,,,

p1 : whatd she say??

jeremypresent : uhh 

jeremypresent : "Hello Rachel! We haven't talked in a while. How are you?"

p1 : im fucking stabbing that bitch

p1 : she knows that's not your name!!!!! what the fuck!!

jeremypresent : "I've heard you're getting good grades in school. I'm really proud of you! Are there any boys that have been lucky enough to date my daughter?"

p1 : jesus fucking christ she's a bitch

jeremypresent : "Are you going to prom? Do you do any sports?"

jeremypresent : you kinda get the gist of the rest of it 

jeremypresent : its kinda long

p1 : she!! fucking left you and your dad!! and she's asking "how you've been"??? 

p1 : mm let me stab her

jeremypresent : i appreciate the sentiment

jeremypresent : but that's kinda illegal

p1 : >:(

p1 : fucking laws

p1 : seriously tell me if you want me to kill her ill do it

p1 : are you gonna tell your dad

jeremypresent : oof i probably need too

jeremypresent : later

p1 >>> "surprise?? its a poly"

p1 : okay who's gonna change the chat name??

joinmydramaclub changed the group name to "dang dang diggity dang dang"

p1 : so you ARE a theater nerd!!!!!!

joinmydramaclub : im a girl of many talents

joinmydramaclub : one of which includes procrastination until the last moment physically possible

actuallyjuliet changed the group name to "VERONICA!! open the. open the door Please. VERonica open the dOOR"

partyhat : veronica,, can we not fight anymore please? can we not fight anymore? 

partyhat changed the group name to "GUYS!!"

partyhat : WE JUST EXPLODED A BUS

jakeyd : yep.

partyhat : THAT WAS BEING ATTACKED BY DEMON TRIPLET MATH TEACHERS

jakeyd : oh yeah.

partyhat : is the whole trip gonna be like this?

jakeyd : i hope so!

p1 : what

bemyValentine : yeah i got the first bit but

bemyValentine : what??

bemyValentine : w a i t 

bemyValentine : tlt right

partyhat : yea!!

p1 : im sorry what 

bemyValentine : so remember in like,, sixth grade everyone and their mom read the percy jackson books

p1 : yeah

bemyValentine : there's a musical for that

p1 : rad 

bitch : wow all you kids are fuckin nerds 

jeremypresent : dont deny it richard you are such a nerd

bitch : understandable have a good day

actuallyjuliet : everyone in this chat is a mess

actuallyjuliet : **nerd 

actuallyjuliet : actually, autocorrect made the sentence better

partyhat : rt 

bemyValentine : rt

bitch : rt 

jeremypresent : heyyyy whatd i miss 

bitch : being a mess

jeremypresent : ah dw i am a mess

actuallyjuliet : mmm yea but ur a wonderful mess :)

jeremypresent : aw thanks

p1 : am i a wonderful mess

actuallyjuliet : don't fish for compliments, michael 

p1 : :'(

actuallyjuliet : jkjk youre great!!

p1 : :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but seriously my phone actually autocorrected nerd to mess and i just went with it  
> again!! super sorry for not posting  
> although i did write an actual fic that i might post? idk its really long and i dont like it all that much but if yall are interested i might post it  
> uhh has everyone seen the 35 min bmc video boot?? i actually started crying when i found out about it (thank god for the musical headcanons discord im in lmao). send me a message on my tumblr ( dorito-demon.tumblr.com ) i r e a l l y want to talk about it  
> random note but since everyone has such generic backpacks i keep seeing people at my school with backpacks like jake and michael and i keep making mental notes of that
> 
> p.s christine switching the topic to cats was her just tryna get jeremy's mind off of his anxiety i realize now that it kinda seems like shes dissmissing his problems
> 
> edit: @ the 35 people ubscribed to this: i ??? love you??? so much?? thank you??


	8. nobody paid attention in DARE class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> actuallyjuliet : jake. jake. 
> 
> actuallyjuliet : Michael is high and his parents are home
> 
> jakeyd : so,,, greatest parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not posting in a while!!! but!! I went to see be more chill!!!! It was so good omg!!! I loved everything about it!! I went on sat @ 2 if any of you were there too
> 
> uhh warning!!! they talk about drugs  
> ive never been high. so? correct me if I'm dumb at some point

p1 >>> "GUYS!!"

p1 : hey y all 

p1 : where the fuck does parmesan cheese come from

jakeyd : uhh man idk??

p1 : what if.

p1 : parmesan Cows

p1 : an i spelling that right¿?

p1 : parmesan?

jeremypresent : michael are you high

p1 : hm.

p1 : well.

p1 : there sure is a posdibility, I aint gonna lie bud

jeremypresent : jesus christ you must be stoned

actuallyjuliet : don't smoke drugs kids

p1 : was that a reference 

actuallyjuliet : yes, Michael

p1 : mm okay

jeremypresent : aren't you gonna run out of weed at some point

p1 : yeah

jeremypresent : mkay yes I'm reiterating what was said before youre a mess 

p1 : yea but im your mess babe <3

partyhat : wholesome

actuallyjuliet : tbh none of you payed attention in d.a.r.e class back in fourth grade did you 

p1 : aait there was a fourth grade

bemyValentine : oh my god

bemyValentine : u needa calm down with ur drugs mell

p1 : shut up heather youve been drunk more than anyone here 

bemyValentine : wow rude >:(

bitch : none of you deserve those complimentary teeshirts

jakeyd : Richard Goranski

bitch : Jake Dillinger

jakeyd : you are a huge fuckin hypocrite 

bitch : >:'(

p1 : damn that's more emotions in an emoticon than I've ever shown in my life

jeremypresent : oof 

p1 : what. Are emotions lmao idk her

jeremypresent : o o f 

partyhat : rt 

jakeyd : rt

bitch : rt

jeremypresent >>> p1

jeremypresent : alright, 

jeremypresent : u better be done smokin today or I'm telling ur parents that ur doing drugs in their basement

p1 : oh they know

jeremypresent : oh my god michael 

p1 : don't worry I'm in the back yard

jeremypresent : great if the police decide to cruise by theyll take in the sweet scent of stoner

p1 : wow hun don't be rude

jeremypresent : you're makin me blush

p1 : more than you do when you watch porn or less than you do when you watch porn?

jeremypresent : nvm im breaking up with you

p1 : huwag mo akong iwanan

p1 : please

jeremypresent : hold on one moment

jeremypresent : oh nononono!!! that was a joke!! sorry 

p1 : it's fine its fine im just ,, bein stupid idk

jeremypresent : u aren't stupid!!! and <33333333 !!!!!!! 

p1 : d'aw yoire makin me blush

jeremypresent : <333333333333333 !!!

p1 : uhh?? ily 

jeremypresent >>> "GUYS!!"

jeremypresent changed the group name to "i love my boyfriend and girlfriend a lot"

jakeyd : uhh don't exclude all of us who are single?? 

jeremypresent changed the group name to "i have no other ideas jake"

jakeyd changed the group name to "jeremy heere is a furry"

jeremypresent : no!!!!! not this again!!!!

jakeyd changed the group name to "jeremy heere is in love with Michael and Christine"

jeremypresent : yes!!!!! yes!!!!

jakeyd : don't be a Homosexual Helen 

bemyValentine : janet 

bemyValentine : lisa

bemyValentine : carla

bemyValentine : karen

jeremypresent : uh excuse me but I am not a straight white suburban soccer mom >://

jakeyd : uhh unrelated but michael aren't your parents super accepting of lgbt ppl 

p1 : jakey, my boy,

p1 : my mom is a lesbian. my other mom is bisexual.

jakeyd : WAIT YOU HAVE TWO MOMS

p1 : yeah?? I didn't tell u??

jakeyd : no

bemyValentine changed the group name to "homosexual helen"

partyhat : #relatable

joinmydramaclub : #relatable

p1 : #relatable

jakeyd : anyways michael I am dubbing your moms as Best Parents

p1 : okay

actuallyjuliet : jake. jake. 

actuallyjuliet : Michael is high and his parents are home

jakeyd : so,,, greatest parents?

actuallyjuliet : DHAJFJS JAKE

p1 : chrissy it's not like I'm gonna die?? relax man

actuallyjuliet : the scent of weed is going to be permanently imprinted into your hoodie!!

p1 : eh

actuallyjuliet : michael, sweetie,

actuallyjuliet : you wear that to school

actuallyjuliet : the teachers are gonna get suspicious 

p1 : ill be gone in like a year who tf cares

actuallyjuliet : isn't weed,, like,,

actuallyjuliet : not allowed to be smoked if it's not because a doctor says you can

p1 : wait a doctor can prescribe me weed 

actuallyjuliet : they can suggest it

p1 : why do you know this

actuallyjuliet : i wanted to know whether or not you were breaking the law

p1 : okay

actuallyjuliet : it's a perfectly good question to ask

p1 : coulda 

p1 : yknow

p1 : asked me??

actuallyjuliet : yeah I never thought to do that whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation!!   
> huwag mo akong iwanan means don't leave me (I believe)  
> I'm still an uncultured white girl!!! Please!! correct me if I'm wrong
> 
>  
> 
> This has no point and i already dont really like this chapter?? whoops  
> If y'all dont know what DARE is, it's a sort of class they make American students take (basically a police officer comes into your classroom and, for one or two weeks, they tell you how drugs and alcohol are bad). It's really useless because the entire time they just rephrase "don't do drugs ever/ don't drink ever" for ten days

**Author's Note:**

> Comment your thoughts!! Thanks!!  
> my Tumblr is www.dorito-demon.tumblr.com yell at me over there !!! Send in an ask or something idk


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